damolaolomu

i’d like to start this contemplation with the definition of terms. what does destiny means in this context? it’s the pre-determined purpose, assignment, and destination for a person’s life, established by God before their birth while purpose is the reason for being, the why of a thing, the idea of the creation of the said thing; in this case, a person; the solution birthed to solve an existing problem.

 in business terms, the unit cost is the total expense to produce, store, and sell an item or service, calculated by dividing total costs (fixed + variable) by the number of units produced and in this frame of thought, it’s the total effort put into an venture divided by the results to show for it. effort here can be defined as the everything it costs to take a vision from ideation to manifestation.

merriam-webster defines pain as “a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and it typically results from bodily disorder; and the state marked by the presence of such sensations”. medically, it’s defined as “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience”. the britannica describes it as “a complex experience consisting of a physiological and psychological response to a noxious stimulus“.

pain is a state of discomfort, usually marked by mental, physical, psychological and sometimes emotional distress. it’s the absence of solace and relief and in the context of vision, destiny and purpose, i define pain as the cost for being undeterred and averse to failure. it’s the feedback you get from repeatedly bruised ego and the reality check of running into yet another brick wall.

 it’s what you feel when your results are miles apart from the expected end and you begin to acquaint yourself with everything that’ll be factored into trying again. i’m attempting to deconstruct this concept from a few vantage points and while this is no exhaustive list, i believe these perspectives give credence to the fact that pain in it’s different shades is a definitive crux when it comes to fulfilling destiny and purpose.

pain from the discomfort of transformation. 

no real growth happens in comfort, this is true because real and lasting change happens in places of absolute discomfort. stretching and birth-pangs are markers of the ruthless work of transformation; it pays no respect to your emotions and it’s relentlessly faithful to it’s process. transformation is akin to a challenging game or puzzle you have to decipher and complete, there’s no getting to the next level except you finish this level; you can’t brute force or circumvent it. 

there’s only one door to get out and you have to find the key to unlock it, but the beauty of this process of finding the key is what it does in and to you; it heightens your perception and sharpens your perspicacity as you increase in knowledge whilst growing in patience and tolerance, and you come out with refined skill sets and an upgrade in your problem solving ability. these traits qualify you to take on what’s waiting for you behind the door and you quickly begin to realize you had no business being in the next level without this character upgrade.  

now this stage is very painful and can easily lead to frustration because you’re presented with two mutually exclusive choices: abandon the process or continue. if destiny means anything to you then you fully understand that you really have one choice: to continue, to push and press in. most people never really speak on this, adequately at least. you hear people talk about how they started and then speak on their results when they got to the other side, almost intentionally skipping out on the divide between point A and B. why? well, because it was painful, slow, and hard. 

touching on it rips apart the veil of being invincible and robs them of the pleasure of prancing about like a superhero. this divide was a painful season that left them with scars on the back, calloused hands and not so pleasant memories. you see, the unfiltered truth is that everything we want or strive for is waiting for us on the other side of a door called process and the version of us that wanted it is not the version that ultimately possesses it. 

when we desire things, we typically don’t see that we’re not quite equipped and mature enough to handle and sustain these desires when they show up as answers or results, hence the necessity for transformation. the answer to the why of transformation is the need to build capacity by bearing root downwards strong enough to host the results while the lessons learnt in the wringer give us a wealth of understanding of the principles and patterns that can replicate those results and this truth only fully crystallizes on the other side of pain. 

pain from the sacrifice of discipline and consistency.

discipline and consistency go together; hand in glove. so you’re not really disciplined if there’s no track record of consistent repetition. discipline is being unsusceptible to the instructions of sensory reception and perception when it comes to taking on a responsibility. it’s showing up because you have to, even when you don’t want to; it’s being averse to excuses, understanding that there’s no in-between, you either do it or you don’t. 

discipline means having a rule over your spirit, it’s the ability to say no to good but not expedient things and the requisite tendency to exercise your will over things that really matter and this necessitates binding yourself to a routine and a code of conduct with ultimate accountability and faithfulness to it. it’s the latent potential to lead yourself. discipline is powerful, but as powerful as it is, without consistency over time, it’s mostly ineffective. 

consistency is faithfulness to a cause, practicing a thing over and over until it’s a way of life, beyond just a routine. consistency is what amplifies the force and potency of discipline, it reveals the power of grit and tenacity because it takes a high level of resolve to commit to doing something repeatedly over a certain period of time, in perfect and not so perfect conditions. 

it’s a lifestyle of doing what’s right without a penchant for applause or motivation.  discipline and consistency by extension is the best revelation of self control and it’s a crux for leadership because you can’t lead others if you haven’t gained mastery in leading yourself and to earn this badge, you have to be amenable with discomfort, you have to understand commitment and none of this is learnt without a certain degree of pain. 

And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.

— 1 Corinthians 9:25 KJV

Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things.

— 1 Corinthians 9:25 NAS95

Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything.

— 1 Corinthians 9:25 CSB

Now every athlete who [goes into training and] competes in the games is disciplined and exercises self-control in all things.

— 1 Corinthians 9:25 AMP 

Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline

— 1 Corinthians 9:25 GNT

i’ve pointed out this statement in diverse expressions to give credence to the fact that there’s a connection between striving, mastery and self control, which is effectively discipline.

i’ve realized in life that how we define a thing is what the thing is and i’ll explain with instances. if you define a headwind as an advantage, it becomes an advantage, you adopt the disposition of taking root, standing firm on your feet, you begin to adopt measures to help you build resistance and in contrast, if you define a tailwind as a disadvantage then it becomes just that. 

consequently, propitious events like speed, acceleration and momentum are perceived as grievances as opposed to being leverage. it’s the same with pain, if you define pain as a depressant, it becomes just that and how you react to it is defined by that. on the other hand, if you define pain as simply motivation, then it becomes motivation. for example, in body building, pain is proof of growth and progress and that can be applied to anything else.

 the pain of getting up and doing it again can be used as an advantage as opposed to being a valid excuse to not try. the highest performing people in the world in different domains are those that define pain differently. they do what they have to do anyway. discipline and consistency builds competence and with competence comes confidence. discipline reveals the power of commitment and sustained commitment leads to mastery and self control, all of this being fruits of pain. 

pain in the course of scaling mountains and surmounting challenges. 

to fulfill destiny you must win, and no one is declared a winner without a battle. unfortunately, these battles never really stop because everything we want in life requires a fight and we fight to win. if you desire dominion in any realm of human endeavor, you must be prepared to fight for it. everything in life that we want is currently in the custody of something or someone else. every degree of freedom in the world today required a level of contending to obtain; every seat of power and influence you desire doesn’t exist in a vacuum. 

similarly, every job, opportunity and crown has to be earned in some way. every gold medal had to be won and the same goes for every political post, every game and every business deal. i could go on, but i think my point is clear, that no victory is handed over; that no matter how easy it appears to be, there’s a level of effort required to attain and subsequently sustain it. the lion is the king of the jungle, but it has to fight and kill for it’s meals, i mean even in the pride it has to fight to defend it’s right to remain in charge of it’s territory.  

no matter how innocent you are, when you find yourself in the crosshairs of a litigation, you have to fight for your acquittal. even the word says to strive lawfully.

And if a man also strive for masteries, yet is he not crowned, except he strive lawfully.

— 2 Timothy 2:5 KJV

while i don’t endorse a do-it-by-any-means-necessary mental module because i believe that there’s a right way to win a fight, i’ve pointed out the reality of fighting and striving because complacency never wins you a crown. for instance, God gave the children of israel the land of canaan and it’s environs but they still had to contend for it. if you desire to be the best at anything, you have to beat people who are good at it, if you want to do something that’s never been done before, be prepared to pay prices that have never been paid before. 

the pursuit of destiny fulfillment requires scaling and surmounting mountains, challenges and obstacles. no territory in history was ever given up for free, there was always a battle for it and in the same fashion, no empire in the history of civilization exercised dominion over realms without having to subdue and exert themselves over the vast landmasses they accrued. this is the same with destiny.

you get to choose how you define it, but a challenge in my opinion is proof of progress. i used a game analogy earlier and inferred that beating each challenge requires an upgrade in capacity and in the same vein, every new level of the game comes with a tougher challenge. there’s no leveling up without beating a challenge but the good thing is every challenge prepares you for the next one. here’s an excerpt from a previous article i wrote.

 “life has it’s ways of testing your vision, as if to say- do you believe it? how far are you willing to go for it? what prices are you willing to pay? what sacrifices are you willing to make? what choices are you willing to make with the options available to you? what if you have to walk alone for a long time before others catch up? how long are you willing to wait for it? what if no one ever understands you enough to form an alliance with you and your vision? how many brick walls are you willing to run through? these are questions life will pose to you time and time again and you must have a response, each time.” 

this is very true, because regardless of what your dreams are, you’re going to have to fight to keep them alive. and for the most part, these challenges stretch and try us and we have to get up and respond, most times in pain and discomfort. but in spite of that present reality, we can define these challenges as what they really are – preparation for our vision and capacity building. adopting this mental module doesn’t cancel out the pain, but it gives it a purpose, making it a positive integer. pain can be embraced and channeled into something useful, establishing it as a unit cost for destiny. 

pain from experience.

there’s a wealth of knowledge and wisdom that can only be accumulated by experience whether pleasant or unpleasant. i’ll tell you this for free, experience is a currency that can purchase understanding and bear fruits of wisdom.  the experience gained from failure, being blindsided, disappointment, rejection and delay to name a few can all be precipitated into wisdom.  

there’s something a businessman with failed business ventures and strategies can tell you that no book will and there’s something an inventor who failed multiple times can tell you about innovation that no bank of knowledge can give you access to. little wonder overcomers are always grateful for their pain and their struggles because without those scars, marks and badges, which in hindsight become priceless, their story of triumph is incomplete. 

there’s nothing quite like victory in an endeavour held side by side with the account of an erstwhile attempt that didn’t quite pan out. experience does something to your character; it edits your perspective and gives credence to your opinions. you know what works and what doesn’t because you tried both and you can recreate your victories because you know exactly what you did to win. experience, both good and bad, is one of the prerequisites for leadership and mentorship. 

there’s something a sailor who battled storms at sea and prevailed can tell you that you can’t learn on paper. show me a leader without a wealth of experience with accounts of failure and i show you someone full of opinions with many blindspots. this is the dimension of pain that births compassion in people, it gives them a burden to set systems and structures to teach, guide and empower those who’d walk the same paths they’ve walked so they don’t have to pay the same hefty prices they paid with pain as the legal tender. 

this is the realm that leaves you with stories of suffering and defeat; valiance and glory, all birthed from your personal walk of struggle to triumph. unique insights, not fabricated lores. the ideation of vision isn’t a walk in the park but on the scale of difficulty, it’s the easiest bit. execution is the meat of it and only in execution is your idea tested, reiterated and proved over time before it’s reckoned a success, so knowledge alone can suffice for ideation but the road of execution requires a dimension of wisdom that’d be birthed on the journey and that by experience. 

the realm of experience is where you see the value of patience, because you don’t really understand how it’s a virtue until it’s your only option and like patience, there are many other intangibles that are discovered and kept in your chest of treasures while walking down this hallway of experience. it helps you see the wisdom in the honour for precepts and principles that produce results and you clearly see the folly in the concepts that didn’t work out.  

these aforementioned perspectives and the many unhighlighted ones all give life to this contemplation. in closing, it is proven by empirical data factored in from different realms of human endeavor that there’s no triumph without a struggle and there’s no manifestation of a vision without hard times, suffering and pain and the same goes for destiny and purpose. as a matter of fact choosing to not fulfilling destiny still comes with the pain of emptiness and diverse frustrations in time and disappointment in eternity when you realize all that could’ve been. 

there’s a measure of pain in wanting to live for more or settling for less, there’s pain in trying and pain in realizing you could’ve tried. there’s no escaping it but the beauty in all of this is that you get to choose your pain, and you should, choose. so while pain is unpleasant, i believe it’s a fair price to pay for legacy, birthing glory, making giants strides and leaving indelible imprints on the sands of time that posterity would be grateful for.